Charlene Newport’s pain may only be equaled to the questions rolling around in her mind.
Why did her son, Connor, die by suicide?
The death of the 16 year-old shook his, family, dad Rob, his brothers, twin Logan and Jordan and sister Karissa. The grief rippled through his hometown of Oil Springs, his friends at LCCVI and the hockey community in Petrolia and East Lambton. And it has left a huge hole in a mother’s heart.
“I wished I would have known,” she sobs. “I could have been more helpful.
“We didn’t see this coming. We don’t have the answers.”
Newport says her son was like many other high school kids you would meet; he loved the outdoors, got into a bit of mischief now and then and he loved hockey.
Charlene says he would have his sticks taped and be ready to go even before practice – urging her to get going so they wouldn’t be late getting to Alvinston.
And the teen loved spending time with his friends. “The best part of high school for Connor was going out for lunch with his friends,” she says laughing through tears. “He kept getting lates (slips).”
That tight bond with his friends makes Connor’s death even more confusing for a family drowning in questions.
“Connor had so many friends – I don’t understand.
“We all are going to have a lot of questions that will never be answered.
Charlene, who is a teacher at Lambton Centennial, told The Independent Saturday the love shown by their community was keeping them going as they prepared to lay the teen to rest Monday.
There was an outpouring of love for the Newports. Friends of the family put up yellow ribbons on the main street of Oil Springs and Petrolia so the family would feel the support as they went to the funeral home for visitation, say friends Stacy Gordon and Karen Cook.
“This is every parents worst nightmare, says Gordon. “The whole community feels their pain…We want the family to see they are not alone; the whole community is behind them – we want them to see that love.”
“Charlene never wants to see another family go through this,” added Cook.
At the funeral, friends and family wore blue – Connor’s colour since childhood so people could tell him and twin Logan apart.
Cook admits she called the twins ConnerLogan, knowing it was the only way she would get their name right.
Members of the community also stepped up. Hull Bus Lines offered four school buses to transport LCCVI students to the funeral at the Brooke-Alvinston-Inwood Community Centre. The hockey community also stepped up to show support with minor hockey families chaperoning.
“We have been overwhelmed with all the support, generosity and kindness,” says Charlene. “People have been incredible.”
And she says the support is welcome. “When it (the funeral) is done, we are going to need to go forward but we need help to do that.”
She says the family will be seeking out counseling.
Death by suicide in the past has been clouded in secrecy with families not talking about what actually happened. Charlene Newport wants to talk about it. “I don’t want to hide… people have to be aware.”
Newport doesn’t want other families to find out about mental health issues the way they have. She knows this will be a life long struggle. Right now she’s having a hard time believing it is real. “I still woke up and I didn’t remember it had happened.”