Heather Wright/The Independent

Lo-Anne Chan wants to make sure families who have endured miscarriages and infant losses have someone to talk to.

The Sarnia woman knows how important that is after losing her own daughter at birth.

About half-way through her pregnancy, Chan found out her child had a genetic condition. Doctors could not say if she would be alive when she was born. On April 16, 2023, Araminta Valeria was born and, after an hour with her grandmother, dad, and siblings, she passed away. Chan, who was still under anesthetic, didn’t see her daughter in those few minutes that she lived.

After Valeria’s death, Chan said it was often difficult.

“There’s no handbook. There’s no right way or wrong way to do it. There’s no knowing what happens,” she says.

The Chans connected with the Pregnancy and Infant Loss Network at Sunnybrook Hospital which helped with counselling.

PAIL also helps health professionals better understand what families face when an infant dies. The Chans have been part of that teaching process. 

“We were able to find the PAIL Network. which is the Pregnancy And Infant Loss Network. They’re funded at a Sunnybrook Hospital in Toronto, but it’s mainly a volunteer based program with peer support from other parents who have lost their own pregnancies or infants due to various different things. So they offer things like virtual and in person support, depending on where you’re located, in Ontario, but also like as a as an organization PAIL network advocates for better supports from health care professionals and from the government to be able to offer better supports for bereaved parents.

“As family members, we were able to participate in a family panel where we share what it was like being a patient, so that nurses and doctors can see the human side of what’s happening, and seeing the families and the babies as more than just statistics and as real people…it’s been really fulfilling to be able to share this is what went really well in our experience and what could have been better.”

Chan is also helping other families who are grieving. Part of The Valeria Fund’s mission is to “strive to raise awareness for the ever-present need for physical and mental health supports in Lambton County following pregnancy and infant loss.”

And in October, which is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, Chan’s organization is bringing families together to talk. 

Chan says far more people have lost children than may people realize.

“You definitely know someone who has experienced the loss of a pregnancy or the loss of an infant, whether or not they’ve chosen to share that with you, but it’s definitely more common than they think it is, and right now, we’re trying to make it a safer space to share about those things, because whether it happened yesterday or 30 years ago, it’s not something you forget.”

Oct. 8 (Wednesday), there will be a time for families to gather at the Forest Library starting at 6 pm to talk together.

And Oct. 15, Lambton families are invited to join the Wave of Light Ceremony. 

The Valeria Fund is bringing people together at 109 Mitton Street South for a memorial. Landmarks across the country will be illuminated in purple to honour the memory of the babies lost. Chan says families can stay after the ceremony and talk together.

And Wednesday, Chan and a friend will begin a series of walks to mark the month.

Oct 14 – Wyoming @ Wyoming United Church

Oct 17 – Petrolia  @ Petrolia Y

Oct 21 – Forest @ North Lambton Secondary School

Oct 23 – Sarnia @ Canatara Park

 Oct 30 – Warwick Conservation Area

To register for the Forest event, contact the library.